Relationships and Sex

6 Things Grown Men Should Know About Dating

They always say that men mature at a slower pace than women. I tend to think that this may be true and that it unfortunately crosses over into the dating realm and how men behave while they are on a date with a woman. Whether it’s conversation, attire or attitude, some men just can’t quite get it right. So we decided to compile a small list of dating tips that every man should have mastered by adulthood. Ladies, feel free to add on…

1. Conversation

Every man should know how to have a conversation while on a date. There is nothing more annoying to a woman than being on a date with a man and listening to him talk about himself for 2-4 hours.  Patiently waiting for him to ask about you and it never happens. It is a turn off because it gives her the impression that you not only do not care about learning more about her, you also have no real interest in her as a person.  It could make her question why the hell she is even out with you?

2. Know How To Plan A Date

Being able to plan a date from start to finish is a sign of maturity and thoughtfulness in a man. When I was in the dating world it would annoy me to be out with a guy and he would have no idea as to where we were going for the night or what we were doing. I would be thinking to myself “didn’t you ask ME out?” If you did ask her out then you should at least make an attempt at planning the activities for the night. If you are afraid that you might plan something that she does not enjoy then a good tip would be to find out. Ask her what she enjoys doing for fun, places she like to visit etc.. This goes back to being able to hold a conversation and not talking about yourself the entire time. Practice those listening skills fellas.  Sadly there are some men who have no idea as to how to even make reservations for dinner.  Tisk, tisk, tisk. Another key to planning a date is to know how much you are willing to spend. What is within your comfort zone?  SideNote:  Every date should not consist of sitting in your apartment watching DVD’s. Try harder.

3. Dress For The Occasion

Being able to change your attire per the engagement is also an important element to dating. It can also be a complete turn off to see that your guy is the only man at a high class restaurant with lime green  Air Force One sneakers on his feet.  A man that can adjust to his environment, internally and physically, when necessary is yummy.

4. Explore Different Dating Arenas

Only going to the movies and out to eat on every date is so 1997. Show her your diversity. Show her something that she has not seen before at least once or twice while dating her. This is what makes you stand out among the crowd of other men who might be attempting to court her. This is what helps to make her see you as “special” or “different”. It can also help her to consider you to be a “thinker”.

5. Differentiate The Type Of Woman You Are Dealing With

Not every woman is going to go for the same old game or approach that you have been running since you were 17. She might not like you referring to her as “baby girl” or “boo”. She might want you to refer to her by her name only in the beginning. I can recall being annoyed with guys who did that because I KNEW it was game. I knew he wasn’t calling be “baby” with any sincerity because he barely knew me so obviously that is a term that he referred to all the women he was dating as.  However, this reference might have made other chicks giggle and think that they were “special”. Don’t be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone. Be yourself however know that every woman is unique and not everyone is going to go for the same jokes, same game, same lines. There is going to be one that finds your “routine” stale. If you don’t then you will eventually find that one that will look at you like you are a Tommy Hilfiger Jean suit.  In other words, she will think you are played out.

6. Pay Attention

Pay attention to her body language and queues. This will guide you in knowing your limits with affection with her, if she is comfortable with you, if she is enjoying herself. Pay attention to her. Women love to know that a man is giving them their undivided attention. It lets us know that you are genuinely interested in us.

Take Responsibility For Your Relationships

How often have you heard a group of women each bashing their significant other [cosigning each other’s complaints] in some way, sounding as if they’re already one foot out the door of the relationship? “He’s a liar! He’s a cheater!” Well, what about you? It can’talways be the man’s fault. Let’s stop playing The Blame Game ladies and take a little responsibility for our own actions.

Why is it that we don’t like to look within to pinpoint some of our own faults? Maybe we all have this princess complex that we’ve carried around since childhood, feeling entitled to the world and are left feeling disappointed when a man offers us anything less than. I can name off at least five common faults off the top of my head that most women have possessed at some point in time.

• Whining/Freak Outs–It never wins. We zero in on one thing that bothers us and explain (read: complain) to our man over and over how it’s bothersome and we whine. You may think you’re bringing this up in some kind of open communication, but it always comes off as whining.

• Pressure–We forget to have fun and relax in relationships sometimes and end up putting pressure on the dude to commit. He may have been fully ready to do so, but our pushing left a sour taste in his mouth.

• Accuse–These are the ones that are typically the Robocops–stalking their man’s Twitter, Facebook, Emails or Blackberry, ready to pounce on him for any glimpse of an interaction with another woman. This always drives a man away.

• Mistrust–You tell him you can trust him, but you don’t. You almost fall in line with the accuser. You start coming up with conspiracy theories as to why whatever he says can’t be trusted.

• Control Freak–From his clothes, to his friends, to the relationship as a whole, you will not allow yourself to compromise with him. It’s your way or no way and there’s no way a man can take that for too long. We have to allow ourselves some type of vulnerability on both sides.

Saying all of this is not to say that men get off scott-free. Sometimes, they do things that cause us to walk away, but at times, it can be our fault. Typically women choose to play the victim when it comes to love and failed relationships and we blame men for everything, even our own feelings. When you really look at it, no one wants to feel at fault, so they avoid the guilt by blaming the other. Fault means failure and now with everyone so focused on winning (Thanks Charlie Sheen), The Blame Game may become a perpetual problem in relationships. Seeing our own faults is often difficult, but it’s not impossible. We should all try a little harder to hold ourselves to the same standard that we do with our significant other. If you’re judging them, judge yourself. Game over

Does The Media Encourage Cheating?

I was scanning the headlines the other day and I came across a situation with a few athletes, couple girlfriends/wives, a breakup and someone ended up being called a snitch. So I posed the question on Twitter: “Are you more upset with the guy who cheats on his wife or the guy who snitches that he knows another guy is cheating on his wife?” I was surprised at the responses I got. The majority if not all people who replied said, that they were more upset with the guy who snitched. I was talking offline with a friend and I gave him the results of this brief twitter survey and I said, “See and that’s why men will always cheat.”

I couldn’t believe that people were more upset about snitching over cheating, but it didn’t surprise me. After all the Black community has spoken and we’d rather harbor murderers and drug dealers than ever think about going to the cops to report a crime. But none the less, this beckons the question, Is society encouraging cheating? It’s a very interesting question, and without wasting a lot of your time I will tell you that yes, they are. Take a look at these three observations:

1) There’s a strict no snitching rule – I have a friend named each Tuesday on her blog she asks ten questions to a fellow blogger or reader. One of the questions is, If you found out your friend was cheating would you tell? Each week without fail, everyone replies, “No, that’s not my place.” Would you believe that? Society makes it so hard to even catch a cheater because no one is willing to assist the person who is being deceived. In fact, they’re much more likely to assist the cheater.

2) Women want what they want – There are women who believe in sleeping with men who have girlfriends or wives. They will tell themselves that since they are not interested in anything more than sex, that this completely justifies the affair. Sigh. Another reason that is often tossed out is that some women find it fulfilling to know that they have the power to cause a man to cheat on his wife or the mother of his children. That type of manipulation bothers me greatly because it speaks to the character of that woman.

3) Men want what they can’t have – We can’t leave the guilty men off this list, they are equally responsible. I think I might have been one of the first people to step up and call shenanigans on the amount of music on the radio that targeted women in relationships, and encouraged them to cheat. I just found it awkward that a man would want to have sex with a woman that he knows was with someone else first. However, that does not stop men from lusting after and pursuing women who are married or sometimes just in a relationship.

If there’s anything that should be alarming to people who chose to dip out on their marriage, it is that divorce and family courts across America have no sympathy for infidelity. If are a woman who dips out on your husband, you can kiss that alimony goodbye. And as if you weren’t already screwed as the man in the situation, the one thing you can look forward to is a speedy trial because no judge will hesitate to give your ex-wife everything she deserves. So it’s safe to conclude that the courts aren’t encouraging cheating.

From a health standpoint it seems as though Mother Nature isn’t encouraging it either. Now is as good as time to remind everyone that there are so many STDs on the street these days that promiscuity is a high risk activity. What’s more alarming now is that even with the use of a condom you can still contract HPV or herpes. The end game is that you bring home a disease to your husband or wife that they cannot get rid of.

It seems the only players in cheating who are encouraging it are those who are doing the cheating. Over the years I’ve learned that people are only willing to judge based on the same criteria they would expect in return. So one could conclude that people are less likely to condemn cheating because they suspect that one day they will be in the same position, or have already been in the same position. I don’t encourage lying, therefore, I’m not a fan of cheating.

Does Your Man Need Upgrading?

Remember when Nightline did that awful “Face-Off” about the plight of the single Black woman back in 2009 featuring Hill Harper, Jacque Reid, Sherri Shepherd, Steve Harvey and the other guy whom I refuse to name? In one segment, Hill Harper told an anecdote about an established female attorney realizing the potential in a male suitor. Although she was higher up on the chain of command, this young man didn’t let her position, or his for that matter, prevent him from pursuing her.  After turning him down a number of times she eventually gave in to one date. The rest is history. Literally. Harper’s narrative was the story of Michelle Robinson and Barack Obama. His point in telling the story was to suggest women date potential as Michelle once saw the potential in Barack.

Sherri Shepherd immediately retorted by proving Harper’s logic was flawed. Yes, Michelle took a chance on Barack who was fresh out of law school while she was already an associate at the firm, but he had a law degree from Harvard. She wasn’t dating the type of potential who was riding the bus and working at Burger King. I was so happy Shepherd corrected Harper on his “dating potential” analogy.

But dating potential isn’t uncommon for women. It isn’t unusual for a woman to date a man who isn’t up-to-par of her standards. Women will sometimes invest time and money to fix him up. Beyonce sang about upgrading men with her hit record “Upgrade U.” Bey sings:

Partner let me upgrade you
Audemars Piguet you
Switch your neck ties to purple labels
Upgrade you

Introduce you to some new things &
Upgrade you
I can (up),
Can I (up), let me
Upgrade you

The problem with upgrading a man is you rarely see a return on your investment. And what happens when the two of you break up? All the women he dates from henceforth will reap the rewards of the new man you helped create. Nothing about upgrading a man seems appealing.

However, is it a double standard when it comes to men taking women from rags to riches?

When Kanye West met former stripper, Amber Rose, he saw something he apparently liked. She literally went from the pole to music videos to front row seats in Paris for Fashion Week. Kanye loved Amber Rose, which is evident by the lyrics of “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.” Ultimately, Kanye changed her life forever by dating her and exposing her to his world- the world of fame, power and fortune. And now that the couple has split Kanye is arguably kicking himself for creating a star that is now publicly dating another rapper.

Men dating women who aren’t in the same tax bracket, who aren’t as educated or come from a lower class, is nothing new. It is no big deal when men do it. But a woman upgrading a man is frowned upon. Something to ponder.

Dating more than anything is about compatibility. If your man is not compatible on basic levels: values, class, intelligence or common interests, the relationship won’t last. When you are dating someone you are compatible with there shouldn’t be a need to essentially change him through an upgrading process.

Clearly Beyonce is not upgrading anyone as she is married to the most powerful man in hip-hop. It is one thing to date potential similar to the potential Michelle Obama once saw in Barack Obama, as long as women remember he came to the table already a degreed intellect with morals and ambition. It is quite another to date “potential” if you are an Account Executive at a PR firm dating a weed head with three children working at the local grocery store who has no goals past surviving day to day.

Personally, I’m not in the business of playing fixer-upper. Spending money on a man to upgrade his status in life sounds like an unfulfilling job I’ll gladly pass on. For the ladies upgrading brothers, don’t be salty when the relationship goes sour. Nobody told you to turn Steve Urkel into Stefan.

How To Be A Good Girlfriend

DO: Hanging With The Guys

Watch the game with his friends. 

Spending an afternoon on the couch with his pals says you're easygoing and cool...and he'll appreciate your making an effort to get to know his boys.

DONT: Hanging With The Guys

Cheer really loudly, chug beers, or tell off-color jokes. Put it this way: It's really hard for him to be sexually attracted to someone who reminds him of his buddies.

Giving Him Gifts

DO: Buy him tickets. Present him with two tickets to see his favorite team or band and you'll win major points for being thoughtful and creative

Giving Him Gifts

DONT: Get him a sweater. He gets plenty of clothes from his mom. And you don't want him to associate you with her, do you? Didn't think so.

Leaving Stuff At His Place

DO: "Forget" your necklace. Leave behind a pretty, delicate piece of jewelry (such as a little gold necklace) and he'll think of you in similar terms every time he sees it.

Leaving Stuff At His Place

DONT: Leave a toothbrush in his bathroom. An unsolicited toothbrush or other toiletry will give him the impression you're moving too fast — and may freak him out.

Sending Him Texts

DO: Type "Last night was amazing. Repeat Tonight?" Keeping your message short and provocative will ensure he stays totally intrigued.

Sending Him Texts

DONT: Send a message that's more than two sentences. To him, texting is for quick communication. Sending him a novel is analogous to a droning phone call.

Displaying PDA

DO: Give him a quick kiss. He'll feel proud in front of his buddies if you give him a subtly sexy signal, like pecking him on the cheek or holding on to his arm as you walk

Displaying PDA

DONT: Be all over him. Dudes want to appear tough in public, so if you're always sitting on his lap or trying to make out with him, he'll feel uncomfortable.

Wearing Lingerie

DO: Wear a matching lace bra and underwear. Sets that come in white or pastel colors — think lavender or light pink — give him a little peek at what's in store while you still look feminine and innocent.

Wearing Lingerie

DONT: Wear something he needs an engineering degree to get off of you. Teddies and little nighties with ties, buckles, and bows are hot, but he’ll be too busy trying to figure out how to get you out of it to notice how amazing you look

Failing To Orgasm

DO: Let him know you still enjoyed it. Giving him a deep kiss when the deed is done shows him that, even though you didn't reach the finish line, it still felt damn good. To up your odds of peaking next time, guide his hand. He'll appreciate the help.

Failing To Orgasm

DONT: Fake it. He will think everything was satisfactory and won't learn what it takes to actually get you off. Now that would be seriously tragic.

Going Away For The Weekend

DO: Go to the beach or the mountains. In the beginning of a relationship, take an adventure-based trip, like going surfing or snowboarding. The adrenaline rush will boost your bond, and a built-in activity safeguards against awkward downtime.

Going Away For The Weekend

DONT: Check in to a sleepy bed and breakfast. Staring at each other over fresh coffee and croissants and going antiquing all day may sound romantic to you, but these kinds of esoteric activities bore most men to death.

Signs He Thinks You're The One

1. He wants to spend the holidays with you — wherever that takes him.

If he's willing to forgo his childhood traditions and chill at your parents' place — or skip family time altogether and take a trip with you — that means he's been thinking about creating new traditions and memories with you.

2. He invites you to his best friend's wedding — without being pushed.
Watching a close buddy walk down the aisle is a momentous occasion. And he wouldn't want to share that with just any girl, especially since there are bound to be plenty of "So, are you two next?" comments. If your man invited you (and he seems psyched to have you there), chances are he foresees the possibility of you two walking down the aisle in the future.

3. He drops the phrase "our kids".
Not to man-bash, but most guys have a hard time even thinking about starting a family until they meet the right girl. Saying something as seemingly minor as, "We wouldn't let our kids be that rude" means he's not only imagining it, he's expecting it to happen. And the thought doesn't send him running off to his man cave.

4. He's cried in front of you.
Whether he’s shed tears while watching The Notebook or because his dog died, he feels like he can be vulnerable around you. Taking off his macho nothing-can-hurt-me armor shows that he’s not afraid of being himself. If he doesn't try to hide it or act embarrassed, that could mean he’s envisioning going through a lot of ups and downs with you by his side. And he wants to be sure you’re cool with seeing his not-so-manly moments.

5. He's suddenly very responsible about finances.
Men tend to feel like they should be in a good place, money-wise before settling down with a woman. (Sure, it sounds old school, but it's true.) So if he seems more concerned with getting that promotion, contributing to his savings account, and opening a 401k, that's a sign he wants to be able to support someone in the near future (ahem, you).

Sources: Relationship experts Dan Lier and Mike Lindstrom, authors of Dan and Mike's Guide to Men, and George Weinberg, PhD and author of Why Men Won't Commit.

Cuffing Season: Why Winter Relationships Don't Last

Winter is full of opportunities to get close: romantic fires, holidays galore, snuggle -friendly weather. Yet the season can be tough on your love life. According to a recent survey, couples are more than twice as likely to think about splitting between the holidays and Valentine's Day, due in part to the pressure the high intensity period puts on twosomes during this time. But also because scientific reasons compound that stress: "Our energy levels are lower during the cold weather, and we tend to be moodier," explains clinical psychologist Seth Meyers, PhD. "Both factors make maintaining a relationship difficult."

You can't beat Mother Nature, but you can learn to spot these pesky relationship- killing winter symptoms and take the necessary steps to keep your bond going strong.

You're Looking for a Fight

Bitchy 'tudes have a habit of cropping up in the winter — in women and men. Being cooped up inside together for months at a time with fewer options for activities can contribute. But more important, the season's shortage of sunlight lowers our levels of the mood -regulating neurotransmitter serotonin, says couples therapist Barton Gold smith, PhD, author of Emotional Fitness for Intimacy. This makes you more cranky than in the summer, when most people enjoy up to 15 hours of mood -boosting sunlight a day.

If you find yourself ready to let the nastiness fly over, well, everything, Goldsmith suggests making it a habit for you both to get outside whenever you can…even if it's only during your lunch break. Being in the sun (wearing sunscreen, of course) for a short amount of time is believed to raise both serotonin and vitamin- D levels, which will make the two of you feel more like making love, not war.

What Does His Body Language Mean?

There are a few physical cues that almost everyone misreads, according to body language expert Janine Driver, author of You Say More Than You Think. For example, most people tend to think that when a dude scratches his nose, it’s a sign he’s lying. But turns out, that gesture means something else altogether. We got Driver to share the secrets to reading boys’ sometimes baffling behavior.

The move: He crosses his arms while you’re talking.

What people think it means: He’s disinterested or hostile.

What it really means: He’s problem solving. Folding your arms across your body requires you to use both sides of your brain, explains Driver, so this gesture signals that you’re engaged and thinking analytically about what’s being said. A dude that gets in this stance when you’re talking is actually more likely to not only be paying attention to you, but also to be open to what you’re saying. Therefore, his doing it when you’re say, talking about plans for this weekend, shouldn’t be interpreted as, Ugh, I want this conversation to be over.. In fact, a study found that when people cross their arms, they stay on task 30 percent longer.

The move: He leans forward.

What people think it means: He’s into you.

What it really means: Sure, this is normally a sign that a guy is feeling you, but Driver spilled that so many people know about this one that it’s not a good indication. Why? Everyone and their mother has heard that on a date they should lean in to look interested. But the real way to suss out if a dude likes you is to look at his elbows. If they’re on his knees or on the table in front of him, chances are he likes you. And if he’s leaning forward, but his elbows are pressed against his sides, he may not be into you.

The move: He touches his nose

What people think it means: He’s lying.

What it really means: While a fibber does sometimes touch his nose, it’s more common for a guy to do this when he’s stressed, says Driver. So pay attention to what he’s talking about while he does it. If he’s telling you about a fight with a bro-friend or an upcoming meeting at work and is acting nonchalant about it while at the same time scratching the tip of his nose, his actions are telling you what his words don’t—that despite what he says, inside he’s feeling anxious or overwhelmed. (Note: One study found that men also touch their noses when they're turned on. So if he's doing this in the bedroom, take it as a cue that he's looking to get you naked.)

The move: He puts his thumb under his chin and his pointer finger above the top of his lips.

What people think it means: He’s thinking.

What it really means: Yeah, this is a classic “I’m deep in thought” pose, but Driver told us that when men place a finger in the area between their lips and nose, what he’s really thinking is, “I don’t care/am not on board with what you have to say, but I’m going to keep my mouth shut.” So, if you notice him doing “mustache finger”, there’s a good possibility that he disagrees with you, but isn’t going to speak up. Consider tweaking your tone so he feels comfortable weighing in on whatever the topic is.

Signs He Wont Marry You

1. All of His Exes Are "Crazy" 

Be wary of a man who refers to his former girlfriends as crazy, psycho, or clingy — because what's the common denominator here? Him. The dude's either looney-bin glue, or he never really wanted the relationship to work in the first place.

2. He Plans Ultra-Romantic Dates

A cozy candlelit dinner is nice and all, but if he only takes you to secluded places, it could be a tip-off that he doesn't want other women to spot him on a date. Next time he asks you out, suggest hitting up a busy restaurant or popular bar and see how he reacts.

3. He's Hot and Cold on the Phone

He'll text you 10 times in a night, then go MIA for days. He'll chat on the phone for an hour, then ignore your messages for the rest of the week. Wondering what the hell is going on? We're going to be brutally honest: He's mostly likely busy dating other women.

4. He Guilt-Trips You

It's normal for a guy to be jonesing to sleep with you from day one. But this behavior is a red flag if he a) lays the pressure on thick, or b) tries to make you feel bad if you choose not to have sex — like by giving you a sob story about blue balls.

5. Stuff Is Missing from His Facebook Profile

Has he untagged any photos of you and him? Does he post updates often, yet never mention hanging out with you? Is his relationship status hidden? We smell a rat. A guy who's leery of commitment will make sure there are no traces of you on his page.

6. His Buddies Act Distant

Even though a player's bros may be friendly enough, they probably won't ask you many personal questions about your job, interests, etc. The ugly truth: They don't want to invest time and energy getting to know you because they figure you're not going to be around very long.

7. He Says You're Soul Mates

Okay, we adore the idea of love at first sight — but too much too soon could also indicate sketchy intentions. If a dude comes on super strong right off the bat (we're talking the first couple of weeks), telling you things like that he's starting to fall in love with you, just make sure you play it safe and trust your gut. Those powerful words might be rolling off his tongue so smoothly because he's spoken them so many times before.

5 Signs He Might Break Up With You

Guys aren’t known for initiating relationship conversations — which is why when they do break things off, it often seems like the bomb was dropped out of the blue. But experts say dudes actually do give away certain clues when they’re not feeling it anymore. Pay attention:

1) He overloads at work. When a relationship seems to be heading south, guys often tend to take on more on the job to compensate; it gives his ego a boost since he’s likely upset that things with you are floundering. Plus, if he needs space, work is the one place you’re guaranteed not to be.

2) He’s stops inviting you to hang with his friends. When you first became a twosome, he wanted his bros to meet you (and be jealous that he scored such a hot chick). But if he’s thinking you and he aren’t meant to be, he’ll start having more boys’ nights sans you so his pals know that you’re on the outs and will support him when the breakup backlash hits.

3) He keeps convos neutral. Notice you’re discussing things like the news and the weather a lot more lately? These topics aren’t intimate, and they’re a sign he may be distancing himself to have less of a bond with you, so his feelings aren’t murky when he does the deed and it’ll make for a cleaner break for him.

4) He boxes you out. Say you’re watching a movie together on the couch and his body is angled away from you—he’s sending you the message that he doesn’t feel intimate. At all. A guy who’s super into you will want to touch and engage you when you’re hanging out. If he’s not? His body language essentially takes over, blocking you out to convey that he’s feeling miles apart.

5) He stops texting you the stupid little stuff. Guys usually text on a gut impulse—whatever they feel, when they feel it. When that stops, it means he doesn’t really feel the need to send you the nice little check-ins he once did just to say good-night or to let you know he’s thinking of you.

6) Cuts off the PDA. When he kisses you or holds your hand in public, he’s telling the world that you’re together—which he won’t want to do if he’s anticipates being single soon. Whether he’d act on it or not, he’s subconciously demonstating to any potential future interests in the area that you two are on shaky ground.

How To Stop A Fight With Your Boyfriend/ Girlfriend

Fights do happen between even the coolest couples. Jennifer Baker, Ph.D., offers a few moves that'll put the brakes on when you're really going at it.

Take a 30 minute pause — as in, separate and doing other things for half an hour. Studies have shown it takes that much time to thoroughly calm down. Once you're both more chill, resume the conversation and you should each be able to make your points more clearly.Let him know you're hearing what he's saying by telling him that you think his point is valid but you feel differently. Often what escalates an argument is the impression that the other person isn't listening.

Diffuse a really heated moment by saying something light and funny. Comment on something happening in the moment, or refer to a past event that made you both laugh — it'll break the tension and allow you both to reset.

Stand with your shoulders and knees toward your guy to signal that you're invested in him, even though you're angry. The wrong body language can make a bad argument even worse — crossing your arms, tapping your foot, or rolling your eyes makes your boyfriend feel like you don't give a hoot

When Was It Ok To Date A Married Man?

Last year, blog sites were filled with separated married men who were openly dating. There was Swizz Beatz with Alicia Keys, Dwayne Wade with Gabrielle Union, and Antwuan Cook with Fantasia Barrino. These couples endured name-calling, alienation of affection lawsuits, and bad press.

Is asking a married-but-separated person to put his or her dating and social life on hold while they get out of their marriage too much? If it’s understood between the couple that the marriage is over, is it such a terrible thing that a person is moving on with his or her life with someone else? I guess the appropriate question to ask is when or is it ever okay to date a person who is married but separated? Like it or not, a separated married person is still legally married. That is why many people ignore the word separated in the “married but separated” title. It doesn’t equate to being single. So, if a person chooses to date a “married but separated” individual, they go into the situation knowing there is someone else. Because of our culture, there are some people who do view separated as single. I looked at the relationship status options on Facebook and the word “separated” is between the words “widowed” and “divorced.” There is no “married but separated” option available. Just the word ‘separated’ as if it was denouncing the legally married part of the title. A quick Google search of the word “separated”, pulls up several sites but none of them define ‘separated’ or ‘married but separated’ the same way. It is hard for some working-class couples to get a divorce in these hard economic times. In order to stay financially afloat, it better suits them to co-exist in the home and split the bills as if they were roommates. They no longer stay in the same bedroom or have conversations outside of the bill payments. They continue to stay legally married because of the inconvenience and financial burden a divorce could cause. While doing research on separations, it became evident that ending a marriage doesn’t happen overnight either. It could take six months to about six years to finalize a divorce. It depends on what state you live in, how much money and assets are involved and if the couple has kids or not. Also, if one of the parties wants to draw the divorce out longer, they can hold up the proceedings by making every question and opinion a court appearance, not returning the lawyers’ phone calls, not signing papers and some people go as far as failing to appear at divorce court hearings. One party in the divorce could be doing everything they can to get out of their marriage, and it can be prolonged due to their spouse’s lack of cooperation. So, under any circumstance, is it okay for a person to date somebody who is married but separated?

10 Things To Do With A Naked Man

1. Sneak up Behind Him- Nibble his earlobes he will be highly aroused

2. Get Naked Too -Men love a woman who is confident enough to take her clothes off and get naked with him. Get in the shower. or walk around the living room naked  

3. Blindfold Him- Most men dont like the whole S & M think but they love a blindfold because you can lead their imagination. Men love a sexual challenge 

4. Give Him A Sexy Massage- Have him lay on his stomach, kiss his back as you glide your fingers across it.  

5. Get On Top- Without him asking you, you should climb on top. The thrill of you controlling him makes him go nuts! 

6. Find A New Spot- You can find a new spot in the house or outside (for spontaneous readers) and have your way.

7. Role Play- Sometimes you like to be something your not why not spice it up and make up a scenerio and act it out! POW!

8. Dirty Talk- whisper in his ear what you want to do to him 

9. Play Rough- Wrestle around a little, tease him, make it a challenge!!

10. Make It A Quickie- Before he goes to work. Before he goes to the gym. Or before he watches the game with his friends. He will love it!

10 Ways to Tell He Is Not Into You

Let's face it, guys send a lot of mixed signals. But instead of getting frustrated trying to decode what he's saying, texting, or IM-ing (ugh!), just focus on what his body's telling you. These 10 signals will let you know when a guy's just not feeling it...

1. He leans his body away from you, whether he's sitting or standing.

2. He fidgets by rocking back and forth, shaking his foot, or tapping his finger.

3. He backs away when you attempt to move closer to him.

4. He crosses his arms over his torso with his hands on opposite shoulders.

5. His feet point in the opposite direction that yours do.

6. He keeps his palms down when he speaks to you and gestures towards himself, not you.

7. His muscles seem tense or stiff, not relaxed.

8. He keeps breaking eye contact with you to look at someone or something else.

9. He doesn't look at you straight on — instead, it's from the side.

10. If he smiles at all, it's tight-lipped.

The Spider Web

Erotic Instructions:

Both you and your guy lie on your sides, facing each other. Lean in close together and scissor your legs through his so you're super close and he's deep inside you as he enters you. While thrusting, hold on to each other for leverage and ultimate friction.